The old trains were bad; the new trains are even worse

To get to concert at the weekend I had to walk 3.5 miles to the nearest operating railway station. A tree had apparently fallen on my usual line. I could have got the bus to the other station, but the buses here are ridiculously expensive for short journeys, so I opted to walk. A few miles is not that far, and I rather enjoyed the adventure of walking through heavy rain and frenzied blusters. Much better than the dull, oppressive, predictable heat of last summer.

My usual line has rather old trains with sad, sagging seats and all the beauty of a Cineworld entrance. The line I used the other day has new, clean trains with all the charm of the Scottish Parliament. Whereas the old trains at least have leg room (even if the seats do often slide off as you sit on them), the designers of the new trains realised that one can fit many more 'customers' into the train if you make them sit with their knees pressed to their chins, on seats so narrow I'm surprised anyone larger than Rory Stewart manages to fit. The corridor is curiously spacious, no doubt to stuff as many overcharged commuters in as possible, who have paid several thousands pounds annually for the privilege of travelling to London on this nightmare train.

And as if this wasn't all bad enough, to further cram in more standing 'customers', the carriages are now continuous. One of the virtues of the old trains is the ability to move carriage when faced with phone-yappers or hen parties. Now there is no escape. The sound of groups of young men making their idiosyncratic cavemen noises, or girls' hysterical gossip, or the business bloviator who probably sleeps with his earpiece in -- all this horrid miscellany of noise travels down the entirety of the train. 

Reading becomes impossible. I can read only in quiet, or in places so noisy that I can't distinguish one voice from another. With the old trains I have a good 50% chance of the former; with the new trains there is almost no chance, and depressingly, all I can hope for is enough noise to drown the rest of the noise out. If someone from centuries ago were transported to our crumbling 21st century civilisation, I suspect the thing he would find most intolerable is the inescapable, unrestrained level of noise.